Vatican...your
holiness, my health is not good, thank you for
your concern. Please, do me a favor and pray for
me...I hope to see you...not too soon, Pope John
Paul.Watch
The Don's Video
Margie
Vesuvio Carbonara (Kris Flink):
As
a very recent transplant to the Northwest, I am
excited to further my career with my brand new
Eastside Beauty Salon 'Jersey Girl.' There
are such fabulous opportunities here, including
all the rich ladies with needs for fabulous hair
& nails that I can rob blind for my
services...er, I mean charge amounts worthy of my
talent. I am hoping my ex-husband will not
follow me here. If he does, I may need to call in
a cleaner...for my drapes. Love you. mean
it. -
Marge in Charge Watch
Marge's Video
Vito
Carbonara (Gary Watson):
I
am a well to do and "generou$" CEO of an
East Coast based Olive Oil and Waste Management
Company. I am in need of several key female people
to assist me (mostly BLONDES, BRUNETTES, and
REDHEADS.) Send a few friends to our next family
gathering and we will see if they have what it
takes! Do the right thing, or else.
Um...Hello...Hello...Is
this thingon?
I don’t think it’s working right. How come I
get all busted up junk? HeyMiranda, what
does the blinky red light mean?
FBI
Agent Miranda Smith, Justice Dept. (Deb Tully):
Once
this youngagent
gets the bit between her teeth, she never lets go.
Her drive and commitmentstems from a
passion misunderstood. While peers say "Lord,
that Miranda gives zealots a bad name." she
knows her cause is just and her success
inevitable.Watch
Agent Smith's Video
Carla
Cacciatore (Michelle Patrick):
Well
- I haven’t had much luck in the men department
in the East so ... who knows what I might find
washed up on these
shores, bred and raised-up in all this clean air.
The damp climate is a little hard on the hair-do,
but I think I might like it here!I
am sure that I will find husband #4 now...and
besides, anywhere Daddy goes, so does his favorite
little girl..not her, all she does is upset Daddy,
I'm talkin about me, jeez!
I
am still trepidated about the move to the
Northwest. The broads out here need to poof
out their hair and use more
make-up,
but otherwise they are still very beautious.
My loyalty lies with the family. Who else
would take a lonely cabana boy like myself and
promote me to the head of 'pest control'. So
if you need something done, No Name is your
guy. I never see, hear or know nothin'... so
FUH-GEDDABOUDIT.
Stella
"Knuckles" Moncello (Angela Rinaldi):
Recognized
in the family for her "organizational
skills" and "getting the job
done," she discovered her musical
talentwhile
at her cousin, Carmine’s funeral when the
organist was "detained" and she played a
mean rendition of the "Beer Barrel
Polka". Just don’t ask her to play"Happy
Birthday". seriously, don’t ask ...Watch
Stella's Video
99
Cent (Dietrich Kiemle):
Name:
99 Cent
Height:
5' 10.5"
Weight:
'Bout a buck fity
Occupation:
Leader of the Premier Renton Street Gang,
The
S-Curve Crew
Likes:
Rollin in my Chevy Aveo, objectifying women and
just generally ballin' out of control
Dislikes:
Sucka's/Fool's/Haters running all over my
territory, 'Organized' Crime cutting in to my
bizzness, and people who chew with their mouths
open
